a gift of love and honesty…

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this past weekend I was fortunate enough to go on a girls get-away trip (without kids) with close, loving, sweet and kind friends.  they also happen to be two of the most beautiful women I know (inside and out).  the weekend was filled with wine, oysters, spa, walks, shopping, beach and ice cream, of course.

oh, and a psychic too.

more importantly was the sharing.  I love when friends can just be rare, open, authentic and real where anything goes.  we posed questions to one another throughout the weekend that prompted some very interesting and fun discussion…one of my friends said it best, “Throughout the course of our weekend, I kept thinking about things that happened for each of us.  Things that we needed to have happen or to be able to openly discuss to give ourselves clarity.  We need to do what is in the best interests for “us” for a change.  Be our own caregivers and champion ourselves.  Look at all the love and support we give to one another, now it is up to us to do the same for someone that we know intimately and love, right?”  I could not have said it better.  Anyway, I ended something this weekend that needed to end.  It was sad for me and I wish things were different but they just aren’t.  I have grown to respect myself and my needs and put myself first.  Sometimes you need to just let go and walk away.  I was courageous enough to begin a difficult conversation with this man and ask some tough questions.  I was ready to hear whatever he had to say.  He was kind, adult and really honest.  It hurt but I give him all of the credit in the world.  It was refreshing.   He had respect for me and my feelings but at the end of the day, he isn’t able to give me what I want and as he said, “what I deserve”.  I wonder if we will ever connect again because it is rare when you have chemistry like we did but as my mom always says…

“it is always about timing.”  That is the truth.

The last thing he text me was,”You’re amazing.

Don’t think for a second that you’re not.”

I will take it.

another one of my best friends gave me the best advice several months ago and I will also keep this forever…”You need to close your eyes and seriously count your blessings and esteem your value.  You are placing value outside of yourself.  This is such an important lesson that we all have.  We don’t have time for lessons, often, as we are so consumed with work, kids, life, house, etc. But you are the most important and you are one fucking kiss ass loving, sweet, wonderful person.  That is the lesson.  You are you.  I love you and you are deserving of an amazing love (mostly from you to you) and trust me, you will have it.  All that you wish for.”

I am a very lucky woman and probably the most grateful for the people in my life and for the lessons all of my experiences have taught me along the way.  hopefully I will grow from each of these experiences and listen to the wisdom of the girlfriends who know me the best.  Nothing better than that.  ♥

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