happy mother’s day {a dedication & thank you}

happy mother’s day…a dedication & thank you

Mother’s day has been a bittersweet day for me for the past 22 years.  I lost my mom at age 15 and she died at age 48, all together way too young for both of us.  This day in particular would make me stop in my tracks and think about her, wishing she was here.  Especially now that I have my son, Ben – I just wish she could meet him, enjoy him and smother him with love.  And, I wish she knew me now versus then because I know I was a brat in those years.  I always wanted her to know me now…and I wish I had been there for her more, then.  My mom gave birth to three amazing women {Robin’s chicks} and I am blessed to have both of my sisters in my life today.  I miss you mom & happy mother’s day Laura & Betsy!

I say bittersweet because I was so fortunate enough that when my parents got divorced when I was 4ish, my dad remarried an incredible woman, Lois who became my stepmother.  I have always called her mom because she is my mom.  She raised me, dealt with me and hung in there through the years.  I have apologized several times for the way I treated her through the years but the bottom line is she and I have been very close and have shared more than anyone knows and I love her probably more than she knows.  Lately, we have a closeness and a relationship that I am proud of.  It amazes me how amazing she is as a grandmother (Lolo) to Ben and I know she is proud of me as a mom and that means the world to me.  Thank you mom, I love you.

I am also very fortunate to have an amazing mother-in-law who I also call mom.  I know how blessed I am to have her in my life and I cherish our relationship.  We have always had a very special connection from the beginning, always on the same page with so much in common.  She is such a giving, thoughtful and kind person that always goes above and beyond for everyone she knows.  I am very lucky to have her in my life and so is Ben.  “Bibi” loves her grandson more than anything and it means everything to me.  We all love you, mom.

Today, mother’s day takes on a whole new meaning because I am a mommy to the sweetest baby boy in the entire world…Ben.  My husband and I had a very rough road to get Ben.  I have always said that having children is a woman’s rite of passage and unfortunately, this was taken away from me.  We were incredibly lucky, fortunate and blessed to have the opportunity to have our son, via surrogate.  Many couples cannot do this for many reasons, but we made it happen because we never gave up and put everything we had into making Ben our reality.  But, we also always had faith.  We prayed a lot and leaned on each other, our family & friends & physicians {in no particular order}!  If it wasn’t for our surrogate Sara…I would never be able to celebrate mother’s day.  I feel like I could never thank her enough (even though I do, still…all of the time).  She is an angel on earth.  The most selfless person I know.  She hung in there with us through several attempts and again, always had faith & hope for us.  Sara, thank you for being you and for carrying Ben into this world for me.  I will forever be grateful for you.  I love you.

Lastly, Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms, grandmothers and great-grandmothers out there.  This is your day, enjoy!


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